Got Fandom?
mcgregorswench:
Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)
Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
Dad: Fuck the government.
Dad: Fuck the school board.
Dad: Close the door.
Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
Dad: I love puns.
Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
Dad: Please shut up.
Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
Dad: They act like I care what they think.
Dad: I hate homework.
Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
miumiumiao:

frighteningfeminist:

thefemcritique:

seriouslyamerica:

Literally me to almost every dude I know.

the struggle

this.

the struggle is so real.

miumiumiao:

frighteningfeminist:

thefemcritique:

seriouslyamerica:

Literally me to almost every dude I know.

the struggle

this.

the struggle is so real.

backdoorteenmom:

lxvemxneyparty:

Jamie Lynn Spears leaves the audience at the 2014 American Country Music Awards (which took place in Las Vegas) after Blake Shelton’s rude comment about her sister Britney


apparently the audience didn’t have to go anywhere to see a lip synch performance

upallnightogetloki:

nicolerichiest:

Sebastian Stan full body shot in ‘Picnic’

upallnightogetloki:

nicolerichiest:

Sebastian Stan full body shot in ‘Picnic’

overlordofthelollipopguild:

mischiefmagicandmayhem:

febricant:

natreidess:

lbrossoit:

Well he missed a pretty god damn big one didn’t he

u fucked up, Tony
u fucked up big time

you had one job, Tony

what if he did find it though?
what if after the avengers, he just archived the data, fully intending to look at it all later, and then kind of forgot about it because he was too busy trying to tinker his trauma away?
what if after iron man 3 he got bored one day, went through his data banks, found all this damning evidence, and figured it out?
what if he found out during winter soldier and tried to contact someone, but steve and natasha were already underground, fury was faking the dead, hill was with fury, coulson and his team were being held hostage on the plane, clint was nowhere to be found, thor was in asgard, and bruce was on vacation in hawaii?
what if he couldn’t do anything about it because he’d gotten rid of all the suits?
what if he was building one from his old files and going to try to do something about it, but then jarvis brought up the news and all he could do was sit there and watch the helicarriers fall because as good as his tech was, it still couldn’t finish the armor fast enough for him to help?
what if he knew but he couldn’t do a thing to fix it?

overlordofthelollipopguild:

mischiefmagicandmayhem:

febricant:

natreidess:

lbrossoit:

Well he missed a pretty god damn big one didn’t he

u fucked up, Tony

u fucked up big time

you had one job, Tony

what if he did find it though?

what if after the avengers, he just archived the data, fully intending to look at it all later, and then kind of forgot about it because he was too busy trying to tinker his trauma away?

what if after iron man 3 he got bored one day, went through his data banks, found all this damning evidence, and figured it out?

what if he found out during winter soldier and tried to contact someone, but steve and natasha were already underground, fury was faking the dead, hill was with fury, coulson and his team were being held hostage on the plane, clint was nowhere to be found, thor was in asgard, and bruce was on vacation in hawaii?

what if he couldn’t do anything about it because he’d gotten rid of all the suits?

what if he was building one from his old files and going to try to do something about it, but then jarvis brought up the news and all he could do was sit there and watch the helicarriers fall because as good as his tech was, it still couldn’t finish the armor fast enough for him to help?

what if he knew but he couldn’t do a thing to fix it?

image

longroadtoparadise:

Jesus take the—BUCKY NO

longroadtoparadise:

Jesus take the—BUCKY NO

sourcedumal:

faramon:

ilovemysassysuperman:

itskalynbitch:

notanotherginger:

Those who say the Black Widow’s fighting style is just movie bullshit can see the above. ^ Shit is terrifyingly real. 

I think I’m in love.

She’s so tiny.
But she could kill me.
Great.

^ That

I will reblog this flying head scissors every time it comes on my dash because it’s so fucking awesome.

sourcedumal:

faramon:

ilovemysassysuperman:

itskalynbitch:

notanotherginger:

Those who say the Black Widow’s fighting style is just movie bullshit can see the above. ^ Shit is terrifyingly real. 

I think I’m in love.

She’s so tiny.

But she could kill me.

Great.

^ That

I will reblog this flying head scissors every time it comes on my dash because it’s so fucking awesome.

irisannwest:

do you ever

do you ever just have

that one class

that one freaking class

that just depresses you when you think about it because

oh god you hate it so much

what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-kise:

dangerhamster:

Rubeus Remus Potter. You were named after the only two people at Hogwarts who seemed to give shit about me, because come on who else would I name you after? A verbally abusive dickbag who was in love with my mum and gave me shit all my life and someone who convinced a bunch of children that they needed to be soldiers? What kind of awful aspirations would that make you end up having? Come on son I’m not an idiot…

#bless this post

rromanova:

in-afog:

[JUMPS ONTO THE HOOD OF YOUR SPEEDING CAR]

HAVE YOU CRIED ABOUT BUCKY BARNES TODAY?

[RIPS STEERING WHEEL OUT OF YOUR HANDS, FLINGS IT INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC]

MAYBE, WHAT’S IT TO YOU?